How should teens be involved in setting rules within the family?
Know that teens hate fixed, out-of-date, and inhuman rules with a passion. (Have you noticed?) They want to be involved in the process of establishing them. So sit down with your teens and work together on a list of specific rules for your household. Give them the opportunity to come up with ideas, add to the list, and comment on anything related to each of the rules. The goal is to arrive at a mutually generated and agreed upon set of rules, but one that leaves the door open for adjusting them a bit down the road. Teens want the freedom to change the rules, so listen to their input, and be open to revising the rules as it makes sense to you to do so.
Dr. Susan Smith Kuczmarski has taught at 8 universities, now at Northwestern University and Loyola University in Chicago. She is an award-winning author of 6 books, 3 on families and 3 on leadership, including her newest, Becoming A Happy Family: Pathways to the Family Soul (2015), and her best-selling, The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent’s Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go, which was released (2019) in Egypt in Arabic. Trained as a cultural anthropologist, she has researched extensively how children learn social skills and teens become leaders. A frequent radio and television guest, she has appeared on "The Today Show" and speaks regularly to parents and educators. Listed in Who's Who in the World for 12 years and an International Fellow of Columbia University, her 35 years of college teaching and research have made her an expert on issues devoted to the contemporary family.
